MR. BEAUTIFUL (UP IN THE AIR #4) JAMES She was my sin and my temple. I both worshipped and defiled there. Gloried and desecrated. Revered and debased. I've been remade four times in my life. It is a distinct feeling. Impossible to mistake. The very marked sensation of being unraveled and reknit into a new thing, a new person. It can be good or bad, helpful or harmful, but above all, it is unstoppable. I was remade when my parents died, went from a happy childhood, into navigating a very dark world, with endless responsibilities, surrounded by enemies, and despairingly alone. It happened again at the hands of a cowardly predator. I'd become angrier with that one, more cynical, and it undoubtedly turned me into the kinky f**k I was today. The third happened swiftly. One day I looked up into a pair of pale blue eyes and saw the other half of my soul. Checkmate. I went from a completely controlled existence, a life where I made every decision with cold calculation, to a man overcome with
